On the Night Train to Crazy Town
It has recently been made known to me that I am 100% insane. Well, perhaps this was always the case. Also, let it be known that i have general "nighttime weirdness." I sometimes talk in my sleep or do weird things. Well i am at the peak of my game right now. Allow me to recount a tale.
So I have this crazy fear of our infant child being smothered. Nothing has come remotely close to happening but I really have this weird fear about it, particularly when he's in our bed. We've never let him sleep there with us sleeping too. I feel totally not comfortable with this. And yet there have been moments where i've woken up with a start, him safely in his bed, and mistook a lump of bedclothes as the baby and, in my delusion, grabbed at it thinking, aaah, we fell asleep with the baby in the bed!!! and wondering, where is he??? aaahh!
One time I woke up sitting up with the babe in my arms and i was freaked out in my out-of-it'ness: "How did he get here, Sean?? I fell asleep! I don't remember getting him! Aahhhh! How did he get heeeere??" I am pretty sure i fell asleep after a feeding. The baby was fine, sleeping peacefully, but it freaks me out. What if i pitched him over to the side or rolled over on him?? It is highly entertaining when I finally come to. At least 3 instances like this have already occurred.
Every night these days I wake up at some point in the midst of a night sweat. I'm drenched and it's awesome. I usually wake up, throw off the covers, fan myself and get back to sleep. Combine this with a "crazy episode" and we have a funny story. I woke up having one of my sweaty moments but I had no idea this was going on. All I knew was that Sean was next to me, presenting our baby wrapped in a little bundle and I, again, had no idea how he got there!!! (italics means freaking out, in this case) Sean is often "presenter of baby" since he gives him to me after he gets up to change him and i sit up and get ready to feed. So in the dark, I snatched him out of Sean's hands and mumbled things like, "what? no! That's not him.. is it?? I swear he's in his bed!" And I continued to "unwrap" the baby from the blankets, as we often do when we unwrap him out of his swaddling, and was determined to find the baby in the bundle to make sure he was ok. It is at this moment that I somewhat come to my senses and I realize it's just a pillow and i had taken off its case. I silently hand them back to Sean and go to sleep, nothing more said (and i didn't put the case back on).
At the next feeding I was much more lucid with a keen memory & said to Sean, "so...let's talk about how I thought a pillow was our baby..." Sean replied, "yeah, I'm pretty sure you were going to breastfeed my pillow. You totally stole it out of my hands and i was just using it to fan you, and then you took off the pillowcase and went to sleep." Anyway, it's hard to tell this story right but I laughed my guts out at 4am.
12 comments:
I remember waking up one night, and Ryan was clutching "Collin" against his chest, rocking him back and forth. Ryan was totally asleep, and I hit him on the shoulder in anger saying, "Ryan, you could have dropped him!" Ryan looks down out "Collin" and starts digging through a pile of blankets... No Baby! We turn to the bassinet, and he is sleeping peacefully. We think that Ryan must have clutched the blankets up into a little ball hugging them and rocking them back to sleep. Yeah, look what sleeplessness does to you!
Oooh, I am crying. Not kidding, I would do the exact same thing every night for the first month when Halle was born. (Minus the pillow stripping). You talk about pregnancy brain, now you know that newborn brain is the real deal.
Also, who would I sell? How could you ask that... I would never... except today, Roen. Sorry little man, but humans don't wake up at 4:12 a.m. Not this human anyway.
I, too, don't like the idea of letting the baby sleep in bed with me. I've already gotten elbowed by Craig enough in my sleep to ever consider putting a newborn at such risk!
I remember once, though, when in my haze of sleep I thought Bentley was in bed with us and was about to fall off the bed. My arm whipped out to catch him, and instead I grabbed Craig who had just rolled over. He was like, "What was THAT about?" Ah, well.
The night-sweats will end eventually. But aren't they gross??? As if you didn't already have enough of your body producing extra fluids!
hahahahahhahahahaa
such a good story! oh sooo funny.
ha ha. ahh, i am entertained by these comments. high five.
I actually would get up during the night frequently to make sure Sam was still breathing. I think I did it until he was like 2. Does that mean I have a nesting instinct like you moms?
Sleep deprivation makes for the best stories, so keep 'em coming.
I actually did feed a pillow. Jon woke up in the middle of the night and looked over and asked me what I was doing. I mumbled something about feeding the baby. Then he shook me to get me out of my half asleep stupor and said, no you're feeding a pillow. I totally had my top off and had the pillow clutched to my chest. And yes, I had to get a new pillow.
brahaha.. were you like, geez, latch ON!
I am crying. Literally, tears are streaming down my face. Love the post. Love the comments. It totally reflects new mother paranoia and I am so there.
I think one of my favorite stories was from my sister who was convinced that wild animals were trying to break into her house to attack her baby.
None of this explains why you didn't put the pillow case back on after coming to your senses. It's not as important as the well-being of our child, but I'm just saying...
i have no good story to offer (not compared to that), but wanted to let you know that your story, along with the comments, have totally brightened my afternoon. hilarious.
Isn't it amazing what can happen when you're completely sleep deprived?? I'm glad it made for a hilarious story!
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